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A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blonde replies, ''I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to fuckin New York, you here me?!'' Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach. Again, the blonde replies, ''I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York damnit.'' The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says, ''Thank you so much.'' hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies, ''I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York.''
Two blondes were fixing up some things around their house. Blonde #1 would hammer the nails into the wall while blonde #2 passed the nails. Blonde #2 would reach into the sack of nails, and either give it to blonde #1 or throw it out. Blonde #1 said "Hey!!...Why are you throwing away perfectly good nails?" Blonde #2 says.. "Well its easy. If I pull out a nail and its pointing towards the wall then I give it to you. If its pointing the other direction, its defective." Blonde # 1 says " You Idiot!!!... If its pointing the other way its for the other side of the house!"
Question: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
Answer: Because it kept falling out.
Question: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
Answer: To hide the valve stem!
Question: How do you change a blonde's mind?
Answer -1: Blow in her ear.
Answer -2: Buy her another beer.
Question: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?
Answer: Air Pockets
Question: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
Answer: It takes too long to retrain them.
Question: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
Answer: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Question: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
Answer: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Question: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
Answer: For throwing out the W's.
Question: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
Answer: One that never misses a period.
Question: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
Answer: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Question: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
Answer: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Question: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
Answer: All you can eat under a buck.
Question: What's the mating call of the blonde?
Answer: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Question: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
Answer: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Question: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
Answer: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Question: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
Answer: She liked to be filled with cream.
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