ST. PAUL, Minn. – When conventional medical professionals refused to remove a 62-year-old local man’s testicles, police said he turned to mysterious “professionals” to relieve what he called chronic pain.

Now police want to find the fly-by-night surgeons.

“I have never in my life seen anything quite like that,” said St. Paul police spokesman Tom Walsh.

According to a search warrant affidavit filed Monday, the man complained of chronic pain and turned to conventional medical personnel to remove his testicles.

When they refused, the 62-year-old man said he hired other “professionals” to do the surgery. He would not tell officers who they were, saying he didn’t want to get them into trouble.

Police said a couple of weeks ago, two or three people operated on the man in his home. He was unconscious. When he woke up, his testicles were gone. So were his “professionals.”

His groin area was bleeding heavily, so he called his daughter. She called for help.

Police found an improvised operating room in the man’s house, with bright lights, an apparent operating table, a camera and various medical supplies and equipment. There was also blood in several rooms of the house.

TORONTO (Reuters) – On the premise that laughter is the best medicine for testicular cancer, a Toronto actor has developed a one-man show, “My Left Nut”, that he hopes to tour across Canada later this year.

Daniel Schneiderman, 29, originally chronicled his experience with the disease from diagnosis, to surgery (his left testicle was removed), to treatment in candid and humorous e-mails sent to friends and family in late 2005. Urged by the several friends and his mother, he has now turned the material into a show.

“The e-mails, for me, were a great outlet to just think about it and also to deal with it,” Schneiderman said. “And the way that I dealt with it is finding humour in the situation. And, you know, it’s about balls, so there was a lot of material to find humour in.”

Schneiderman said early detection and diagnosis were key to his treatment. Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in males aged 15 to 34.

“My Left Nut” is being performed as part of next week’s Help Kick Cancer in the Balls! fund-raiser in Toronto. The event also features stand-up comedians and a giant testicle-shaped pinata.

Schneiderman hopes to take the show on tour, targeting high schools. Teenagers, he noted, are often a challenging audience because of embarrassment and fear of body-related issues.

HALLE, Germany (AFP) – Spare a thought for Frenchman Marc Gicquel who went on to win his second-round tie at the ATP Halle tournament despite receiving a serve – travelling at 208 kilometres per hour – in the testicles.

The 30-year-old was in the second set of his match against German Benjamin Becker – no connection to compatriot and tennis legend Boris – when he was felled by the serve which scored a bulls-eye straight into his delicate area.

With the speed-gun showing the serve was 208 km/h, the game was stopped for ten minutes while the Frenchman had ice applied, discreetly, to his wedding tackle – in front of a 8,000-strong crowd.

In a show of brotherly solidarity, Becker went over to his pole-axed opponent to pass on his deepest – and heart-felt – sympathy.

Having won the first set 6-2, Gicquel came off the turf – to earn the respect of each and every man watching – and won the second set on a tie-breaker in what can only be described as a truly ballsy performance, which handed him a spot in the quarter-finals for his efforts.

ANNAPOLIS, Md. – Annapolis police raided the wrong apartment Wednesday night, using flash grenades and kicking a resident in the groin before they realized their mistake, police and the family said.

Police spokesman Hal Dalton said something must have gone amiss in the briefing beforehand. “We don’t know how the mistake was made,” Dalton said.

Silvia Bernal, 30, told The (Annapolis) Capital that about 15 officers burst through the front door of her apartment while she was cooking dinner about 8:20 p.m. She said the officers kicked her husband in the groin while she fled into a bedroom and barred the door with her body.

Then she said both of them were taken to the ground and handcuffed. The Capital said a police officer went outside and realized they had raided the wrong residence.

Dalton said they were supposed to have raided a different apartment and said the incident was regrettable.

Spa Cove apartment manager Latisha Marshall says there is a large dent in the front door. And she said there are two large black stains from the flash-bang grenades police deployed after entering the apartment.

When officers and the city’s tactical squad went to the right unit, they said it was empty.

ELDERON, Wis. – Around here, it may be tough to pass up anything deep-fried.

Wisconsinites have deep-fried cheese curds, candy bars and Twinkies. They now have deep-fried livestock testicles, too.

More than 300 people paid $5 for all-you-can-eat goat, lamb and bull testicles Saturday at the ninth annual Testicle Festival at Mama’s Place Bar and Grill in Elderon in central Wisconsin.

“Once you get over the mental (aspect) of what you’re eating, it’s just like eating any other food, and it tastes good,” Buster Hoffman said.

Festival founder Nancy Fenske said the festival grew out of her late husband Roger’s birthday party 12 years ago. They decided to have “a nut fry” at Mama’s Place after bringing back lamb fries from a trip to Montana.

The event grew every year and now they fry up to 100 pounds of testicles, she said.

“What else can you do in a small town?” Fenske said.

Butch Joubert, 58, likes the parts sandwiched between bread with tartar sauce. They’re not so different from regular meatballs also served at the festival, he said.

“After a few beers, you can’t really tell the difference,” Joubert said.

LOS ANGELES – An Air Force veteran has filed a federal claim after an operation at a Veterans Administration hospital in which a healthy testicle was removed instead of a potentially cancerous one.

Benjamin Houghton, 47, was to have had his left testicle removed June 14 at the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center because there was a chance it could harbor cancer cells. It also was atrophied and painful.

But doctors mistakenly removed the right testicle, according to medical records and the claim, which seeks $200,000 for future care and unspecified damages. He still hasn’t had the other testicle removed.

“At first I thought it was a joke,” Houghton told the Los Angeles Times. “Then I was shocked. I told them, ‘What do I do now?’”

Houghton, his wife, Monica, and their attorney, Dr. Susan Friery, said they hoped to get the VA’s attention by going public with the situation.

Dr. Dean Norman, chief of staff for the Greater Los Angeles VA system, has formally apologized to Houghton and his wife.

“We are making every attempt that we can to care for Mr. Houghton, but it’s in litigation, and that’s all we can tell you,” he said. The hospital changed practices as a result of the case, he added.