My buddy Joe went to a small town outside of Phoenix last week. He had fifteen bucks and desperately wanted to get laid. At the first whorehouse, he was unsuccessful yet warned not to visit Sandy Sandpaper. At the second, third, and fourth whorehouses he was as unsuccessful as the first and duly warned.

Still desperate for a quick lay, Joe ultimately decided to pay a visit to Sandy Sandpaper. Joe knocked, Sandy (a vivacious woman) opened the door, and she assured him that fifteen dollars would suffice for the night. A few minutes into the festivities, Sandy asked “how does it feel?” “A little rough, like sandpaper” replied Joe.

“Just a minute” said Sandy as she made her way to the bathroom. After waiting a few minutes, Sandy emerged and she and Joe started right where they had left off.

“Now how does it feel” asked Sandy. “Terrific. What did you do” asked Joe, at the height of his pleasure.
“Oh, I just picked the scabs and let it drain a little!”

A drunk bum walks out of a bar late at night. Across the street from him is a nun waiting at a bus stop. The bum crosses the street and punches the nun square in the face. The nun falls down and the bum begins to kick her constantly screaming, ” Not so tough tonight are you batman?”

There were two priests sitting in the little room where they go when they need to change and they were writing the next sermon for Sunday now this the time when all the stuff was going around about priests but the one says to the other im tired so im going to take a shower and take a nap and the other says okay im almost finished so dont start without me and the one says ok and leaves well temptation gets to him and he says ah forget it so he runs to the shower and enters to find shit colored cum all over the wall and the one says to the other i told you to wait for me and the other says what do you mean i just farted.