Three horny cheerleaders decide to take their boyfriends to a hotel and get fucked. So they check in at the hotel and go to their rooms.

But their parents get worried for them and go looking for them. They find the hotel and go inside. They go up into the hallway and hear their girls.

From one room they hear a loud scream. They barge into the room and shout, “why are you screaming?”. The cheerleader replies, “because it hurts!”.

Then, in the next room they here giggling, so they bust into the room and shout, “why are you giggling?”. The cheerleader says, “because it tickles!”.

Then, the parents listen and listen, but can’t hear the last girl, so they ask the other two where she is. The girls show them to the last girl’s room, and kick down the door, to find the last of the girls still being fucked. Her parents ask her, “why the fuck weren’t you screaming, or giggling?”. The cheerleader imediately answered, “but you told me not to talk with my mouth full!”

What do a bungee jump and a whore have in common?
Theyre both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks youre a dead motherfucker!

A family decided to take there vacation on a beach, but it happened to be a nude beach. Well there little boy came up to his mom and said, “mommy there are some women here who have bigger boobies than yours” the mom replied ” well son the bigger they are the dumber they are”, so with that he ran off to play.
A little while later he came back to his mom and said ” mommy mommy there are some guys here who have bigger pee pees than daddys”
once again she said ” well the bigger they are the dumber they are”
so he went off to play again.
After a while he came back up to his mom and said “mom I just saw dad talking to the dumbest women I have ever seen and has he talked he just kept on getting dumber and dumber and dumber.

Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum, “We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”

Mum replies: “yes dear”

Day 2: “We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”

Mum replies: “yes dear”

Day 3: “We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”

Mum replies: “No dear, it’s because your 25″

A little girl and her dad were driving down the road. When they passed an old woman’s car, a dick landed on the windshield. The little girl said, “what was that daddy?” The dad didn’t want to tell her what it really was so he lied and said it was a fly. Then the little girl said, “that fly had a big dick.”

A blonde,redhead and a brunnete were waiting in the gynacoligists office,for there check-up.
The redhead says,”i heard that the position you always have sex in determine the sex of your baby’. redhead continues”since i was always on top , i’m having a boy.”

Then the brunnete says,”so i was always on the bottom, i must be having a girl.

Then they heard the blonde crying and the brunnete asked”whats the matter?”

Then the blonde replied,”i’m having puppies!”

There is this guy who has speech problems. he went out to the drug store to get some gum. he asked the lady at the counter for some ‘bum’. she said you mean gum? the man said yes and bought the gum. T

hen he went to the department store to get a bucket. he asked the man at the counter if the had any ‘fuckets’. the man said, you mean buckets? the man said yes, bought the bucket

Then he went to the pet store to buy his daughter a puppy for her b-day. When he got there he asked the lady at the counter if they had any ‘cockandspankits’. the lady said, you mean cockerspainelles? the man said yes.

While he was paying for the puppy, another customer walked through the door and the puppy ran outside. The man went to chase after the puppy, he found the closest person and said, “Can you hold my bum and fuckit while i go catch my cock and spank it?”

There was this family and they were too poor to buy food so this old man went and shot them a squirrel. It still had the bb’s in it.

They ate and it was the lil girls bedtime and the lil boy went outside.

One lil girl came down: Mommy mommy i peed a bb. That’s good hunny go back to bed.

The other lil girl came down mommy mommy i peed a bb.

Thats good hunny go back to bed.

The lil boy came in and said mommy mommy. Let me guess u peed a bb.

No i was jacking off in the back yard and shot the dog.

Question: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
Answer: Because it kept falling out.

A man and woman were about to get married. The man loved this woman very much, however he had a problem with his soon to be mother-in-law. She always looked at him as if she wanted him. The fact that she was hot didn’t help the matter. One day, the man and his fiance’s mother were alone in the kitchen planning for the wedding. This was when she asked if he wanted to have sex with her. Of course, the man was stunned, so the woman went to the bedroom and allowed the man to think about it. After about a half hour of sitting in the kitchen the man gets up to go to his car. Outside his soon to be father-in-law is waiting for him. He exclaims that he is very happy that his daughter found a man this good, and that he had passed the test that had been set up.

Moral of this story: Never forget your condoms in the car.