What do a bungee jump and a whore have in common?
Theyre both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks youre a dead motherfucker!

One day, a woman living in a trailor park found a hole in the floor in her kitchen, so she decided to stick a hot dog in it and masturbate with the hot dog sticking up from out of the floor. A guy next door could see in through the window and he thought she was really hot. So he snuck under the trailor and took the hot dog out and replaced it with his dick. He was having a lot of fun for a while until someone knocked on the door of the trailor and the girl kicked the “hot dog” under the floor!

One day the farmer saw his kid digging in the tool shed. He waited until the boy came out then asked him what he was doing. The boy had chicken wire in his hands, and replied I’m going chicken hunting papa.

The farmer just thought his son was crazy. then the boy came back an hour later and had 2 chickens on the chicken wire.

The farmer was dumb founded.

Then the boy came out with duck tape. an hour later he came back with 3 ducks.

The Farmer was in amazement. then the boy came out with pussy willows. the farmer yelled wait boy i’m coming with ya this time!”

One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. “I don’t know what to do here”, says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.

I’ve got a couple of folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place… I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed — over and over and over.

Such was his fate in hell. “No,” bin Laden said.” I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil led him to the next room; in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

“No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented Osama Bin Laden.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Osama bin Laden looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

The devil smiled and said, “OK, Monica, you’re free to go.