There’s a marshal on the range in the late 1800′s who comes across this Indian reservation and decides to go to the saloon for a couple shots of whiskey and some Indian pussy for the night. After he took his drinks he asks the bartender where he could get some Indian pussy. He tells him and the marshal then finds himself in a room with this gorgeous Indian lady ready for him. During the session this Indian lady screams out ” EE KA!!! EE KA!!!” and the harder the marshal pushed the louder the screams got; “EE KA!!! EE KA!!!”

Later that evening the marshal finds himself back at the saloon and is watching a fine game of billiards. The man shooting was a big fellow with stalky arms; not someone to pick a fight with. It was the 8 ball and the cue left on the table. The big Indian shoots and the 8 ball rolls around and around and falls into a pocket. “EE KA!!! EE KA!!!” the man screams out looking very pissed off snapping his cue stick in half. Seeing this the marshal began to worry like what the fuck? EE KA!!! EE KA!!! what the fuck is that? So he asks the bartender,” What the hell does EE KA!!! EE KA!!! mean?” And do you know what the bartender said? “WRONG HOLE!!! WRONG HOLE!!!”

a farmer has over 800 laying chickens. But one day his rooster dies. The farmer goes to the bird store to get a new rooster. The clerk gave him a huge rooster and said it would do the job. The farmer goes home, throws the rooster in with the chickens. The rooster rides one, then dies. The farmer goes back to the store and demands a new rooster. The clerk hands him and even bigger rooster than before and says it will do the job for sure. The guy goes home, throws the rooster in with the chickens. The rooster rides one, then dies.

By now the farmer is pissed off. He goes to the store and demands a new rooster. The clerk gives him the scrawniest chicken ever! The guy didn’t have a choice so he goes home, throws the rooster in with the chickens. The rooster rode all them chickens twice before the farmer grabbed him. he threw the rooster in the shed till morning. The next morning the guy goes to the shed only to find that the rooster had drilled through. He found all his chickens tired, his dog cowering in the corner, and his horses all limping. The guy gets scared thinking about the neighboring farm. He finds the rooster flat on his back near the road, two vultures circling over head. The farmer goes to check on the rooster, when suddenly it opened its eyes and said ”man fuck off you’ll scare em away.

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could.

“I’m afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy.”

“So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?” asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied, ‘Piddles’ legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven.”

Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles’ death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: “Mommy almost died this morning.”

Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, “How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!”

“Well”, mumbled Lucy, “soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, “Oh Jesus!!! I’m coming, I’m coming!!!” and if it hadn’t been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy”.