A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.

Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she’s smiling.

So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she’s laughing.

He’s really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down.

He demands, “What’s so funny?

She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle!”

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.”

A man goes to the doctor because he is bleeding whenever he tries to shit. The doctor takes a look in his ass and say’s, “I think I have something for this but it has to be put in your rectum in order for it to work.” The man say’s, “Whatever will stop the bleeding, do it.” He gives him the first dose and say’s, “Tomorrow, have your wife give you the second and final dosage the same way that I have.” The man thanks the doctor and rushes home.

The next day he gives his wife the medication and tells her what she needs to do. As she is putting it in the man screams. “Oh my god what did I do?” his wife asked. The man replies, “Nothing, but I just noticed that when the doctor gave it to me, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders!!!”

A little girl and her dad were driving down the road. When they passed an old woman’s car, a dick landed on the windshield. The little girl said, “what was that daddy?” The dad didn’t want to tell her what it really was so he lied and said it was a fly. Then the little girl said, “that fly had a big dick.”

Two blondes are in a car. The one driving looks in the mirror and tells her friend, “Look, Betty. That’s me!”

Betty takes a look in the mirror and replies stubbornly, “No, stupid. It’s me!

Three blondes and a brunette are hanging off the edge of a cliff. If one of them doesn’t let go they will all go. Suddenly the brunette gives a speech explaining that she will sacrifice herself to save the others. The 3 blondes clapped..

This blonde came home from work one day and caught her husband screwing another woman so the blonde goes out and buys a gun goes back home walks in on her husband and puts the gun to her head and her husband said don’t do it hunny don’t do it the blonde said don’t worry motherfucker your next.

A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,”Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?

“$50″ she replies

The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man’s wife overheard their conversation and asked him is she had realized that the porch goes all around the house. “She should. She was standing on it”

A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’ve finished already?” the man asked. “Yeah, and i had paint left over so i gave two coats.”Impressed the man reaches for the money. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a porch. It a Lexus.”