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A man dies and is sent to hell where he is greeted by the devil,
he is led to a room with three doors
heres how it works says the devil,
you must choose a door to recive your punishment untill,
someone else is sent, picks your door and takes your place.
right says the man, lets go.
on entering the first door he see's a man being stabbed with a hot poker,
oh no says the man i dont fancy that, lets see whats next,
behind the second door he see's a man being whipped,
oh no i dont fancy that says the man, lets see whats next,
behind the third he see's a man getting a blow job off a fit blonde'
oooh yes thats the door for me says the man
so the devil leans through the door and shouts to the blonde
on yer feet love you can go now.
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Adult Jokes
Little red riding hood was working in the woods on her why to her grama's house. Out of the bushes jumps the Big bad wolf. The wolf said, "Littie red riding hood I'm going to make sweet slow love to you" Little red riding hood said, "Bullsh*t your going to eat me just like the book says!
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Adult Jokes
a guy walks into a bar and orders 1 beer 1 shot. the bartender asks why so down? the guy says i just found out my son is gay. The bartender says have another one on me. The next day the same guy comes in and orders 2 beers and 2 shots. the bartender asks whats wrong today? the guy says i just found out my other son is gay. The next day the guy comes in again and orders three beers and three shots the bartender asks does anybody in your family like pussy? The guy says yeah, my daughter does thats why im here now.
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Adult Jokes
A family decided to take there vacation on a beach, but it happened to be a nude beach. Well there little boy came up to his mom and said, "mommy there are some women here who have bigger boobies than yours" the mom replied " well son the bigger they are the dumber they are", so with that he ran off to play.
A little while later he came back to his mom and said " mommy mommy there are some guys here who have bigger pee pees than daddys"
once again she said " well the bigger they are the dumber they are"
so he went off to play again.
After a while he came back up to his mom and said "mom I just saw dad talking to the dumbest women I have ever seen and has he talked he just kept on getting dumber and dumber and dumber....
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Adult Jokes
A mailman who had delievered mail to this neighborhood was finally retiring after 30 long years. So on his last day each house had little gifts for him to show him how much they cared, the first house he came to gave him a gift basket full off food, the next house gave him some baked goods and so on. Then he comes up to this one house and standing in the doorway is this gorgeous BLOND and she is wearing nothing but this little neglegie. She takes the mailman by the hand and leads him upstairs where she gives him the best and the longest sex that he has ever had. Man talk about every fantacy fullfilled. After that she takes him downstrairs and fixes him a wonderful breakfast. After he finishes he sees a dollar bill under his water glass so he asks about it. She says, well I was telling my husband that today was your last day and asked him what we should do for you and he says Screw Him, Give him a dollar.
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Adult Jokes
If your girlfried is banging on the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?The dog because at least he shuts the fuck up when he gets inside..
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Adult Jokes
A guy gos on to a ship to sail for work, but he notices no women on board so he runs to the captin, capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do for pleasure??? capt.:o dont worry me laddie just stick your dick in that barrel and everything will be alright so after a few weeks at sea the guy sticks his dick in the barrel and gets a wonderful sensation so he does this every day after that, untill one day he sticks his dick in the barrel and nothing happens so he runs to the cpat. and says, capt capt! I stuck my dick in the barrel and nothing happed! Capt.:Oh I forgot to tell you laddie its your turn in the barrel!
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